Today is Valentine’s Day, and, love it or hate, this holiday is bound to inspire some questions from the kids in your life. For these little humans just beginning to understand how our world works, sometimes big feelings surrounding love and affection can be tricky to navigate. Sharing a book with a trusted loved one is a great way to sort out some of these complicated emotions.
Some children may begin to blush at the mention of Valentine’s Day as they make their first awkward attempts at young love. “This Is Not a Valentine” by Carter Higgins is a sweet look at age-appropriate ways to interact with a crush. In adorably childlike crayon and marker drawings, two little ones express their burgeoning affection in some less-than-conventional ways. Rest assured that this gentle story focuses on warm words and quiet acts of kindness rather than grand gestures or potentially unwanted contact.
If you have a kiddo who can be a little overzealous with their affection, now might be a good time to initiate a conversation about boundaries and consent. In “Can I Give You a Squish?” by Emily Neilson, an excitable merboy named Kai is caught off guard when his pufferfish friend bristles at Kai’s friendly squishes. Eventually, he learns that his undersea pals might prefer other forms of greeting — like fin bumps or tentacle shakes — or even no touching at all!
Speaking of touching, some of us just prefer to keep our hands to ourselves. Not every child is willing to accept a hug from a classmate or a lipstick-y kiss from Great Aunt Ruth, and that’s absolutely okay! “Rissy No Kissies” by Katey Howes features a little lovebird who feels confused and left out when she expresses her dislike for kisses. Her mom reassures her that “Your body and your heart are yours, and you choose how to share.” The back matter includes some practical advice for grown-ups looking to educate on bodily autonomy and consent.
Issues surrounding touch and other expressions of affection can often present unique challenges for kids on the autism spectrum. “How to Build a Hug” by Amy Guglielmo introduces kids to the ingenuity of real-life animal expert Temple Grandin. As a young girl with autism, Temple craved the gentle sense of pressure a good hug provided, but her avoidance of touch made it difficult to accept affection from loved ones. That is, until observing the cattle at her aunt’s ranch sparked the brilliant idea to build her own “squeeze machine!” Temple’s insightful story will help children understand their own sensitivities as well as hold space for the preferences of others.
Some little ones just have so much love to give, it might feel like their heart is about to burst! “The Boy Who Loved Everyone” by Jane Porter features a preschooler named Dimitri who is puzzled and hurt when those around around him seem to reject his words of love. His mom’s advice is so wise: “When you tell people you love them, even if they don’t say it back or show it, they feel lit. That’s just the way love is. It can’t help but spread and grow.”
My last suggestion is just an all-around lovely book about love: “I Am Love” by kids’ yoga and mindfulness expert Susan Verde. A colorful and diverse cast of characters demonstrate a variety of expressions of love in relatable, easily understandable terms. From quiet practices such as showing gratitude and knowing when to listen to more overt acts of kindness, this book empowers little ones to recognize all the different ways they can show their love.
